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 sign and read my guest bookCLICK HERE to leave a short note for Stacy in the Guestbook. If you want to SHARE YOUR STORY click here to leave a longer message and interact with other readers. Thank you for writing this book, Stacy -- I wish I had found it sooner. I discovered it in the library when I was searching for instructions on how to talk to be OK and make sure my kids end up being OK, when I still don't understand why I am getting divorced. Sometimes I sob out loud because an excerpt resonates so clearly! Today I read page 155 -- how you decided that if your ex-husband had the ability to be deeply connected to either your or your child, for him to choose your child is ultimately the the better option. This idea breaks my heart but sets me free simultaneously -- to watch my sons enjoy the renewed attention of their father (the man I always knew he could be), I still feel rejected but I know THEY will be OK. It is such relief to have my feelings reflected and validated in "falling apart," and I treasure each lesson you have learned. I hope to emerge from this journey with as much grace as you have shown. Namas Amy Saturday May 12, 2012 Aloha!buy viagra online no rx , generic viagra overnight , viagra_online USA Monday May 7, 2012 Perfect!phentermine , zolpidem , valium , xanax , phentermine USA Sunday May 6, 2012 Thank you so much for sharing your story; it is (unfortunately) very similar to my own. It is nice to know that I am doing the right thing for my sons by taking the "high road" in many situations that anger me and that a divorce after 19 years of marriage does not define ME- but just this moment in time. It is empowering to read the stories of other people who have been so crushed by something like this also- and survived! Thank you again for this great book Mardelle Schaffner-Robb Thank you for sharing your story with the world. You have helped me see that my feelings are normal and okay during this troubling time in my life. A friend suggested your book and I am glad that I listened. I needed to know that it was okay to still love my soon to be ex-husband and that our love will live on in our son and that if we can be friends our son will have a much better life and so will I because he was / is / and always will be my best friend, even if he cannot be my husband forever. Thank you again. Hi Stacy, Your friend Susie is my doctor. She recommended your book to me Dec. 2010 a month after my husband told me he was moving out. I've told her many times how helpful that book was to me. And I wanted to tell you too! It was just what I needed to read at that time. Thanks for writing it. I read several parts over and over again and still read it now. All the best to you and thanks again! Hi Stacy, I have yet to read more of your posts, but from what I've read so far, I felt like I just had to let you know that I've found your posts incredibly real and inspiring. Last year, my husband of twelve years and the love of my life sat me down and told me he wanted to get a divorce. What followed was like an endless nightmare in which he confessed that he has not loved me for at least half of our marriage life. He also seemed to blame my PPD seven years ago and the depression that followed as the reason why he cheated four years ago. It's been a year, and our divorce isn't settled yet. It still hurts and I struggle with the pain every day, but am determined to make it through. I have a 7 year-old daughter who's just amazing and I owe it to her and myself to rise above this hell hole.Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are such an inspiration. More than my words could express. I work with troubled youth and hear their stories regarding parents who are separated or divorced. The youths have lived in many foster homes. I was divorced when my wife decided to leave the marriage. She requested that I file for divorce when she found a live-in boyfriend. We divorced. I re-married two years after and this marriage has lasted longer than the first one. Those youths would often ask me about the "whys" of broken marriages and I would share with them my own experience and the experience of close friends. I was like Chris who was there to help when needed and I kept a close relationship with my children which has lasted to the present. Me and my ex do share responsibilities. You found "who you are" and I did, too. I found out that everything starts with kindness including love. Kindness is the starting point to my healing. Pearls go through pain and suffering to become precious pearls. Stacy you are one beautiful pearl, one who found her way to help others. Thank you. Joseph Joseph, thank you for this note. I am so glad to hear you shared the experience I did, and have been able to share that with others who have been hurt be divorce. It is true that we must be gentle, with ourselves and with others, in order to get through this life with the fewest wounds. I have my battle scars, as do we all, but I do not live in them. That's what I wish for those children, to realize their parents did their best, but that they can set themselves free from their parents' history and find their own way to feeling whole.—SLM Stacy, Thanks for writting the book, you are the only one that I feel understands what am going thru. Hope you found the light at the end of the tunnel. Maria, thanks for writing. And yes, I did find light at the end of the tunnel. That light was me! Life continues to throw its curveballs, but I feel better equipped to know this is just chance working its magic, not some statement about my own worth. Wishing you light for yourself!—SLM Hello Stacy.I really want to get your book, and I´d like to know if there is an electronic edition or something, because I live in Mexico and I haven´t been able to get it.Regards,María Maria, the book is available on Amazon as an e-book and also in Apples iBooks application. I hope you can find it!—SLM Stacy, I am reading your book and want to say THANK you for being so open and honest. I feel like you really capture my feelings. I amonly three months into this and feel every day the I am a mess/I am fine feeling. I feel like the book is friend who really understands me. Lauren, I am so glad the book has been good company. I'd be there in person if I could! Very best wishes, SLM Stacy, your book is helping me in so many ways I can't even express my gratitude. I am reading it over and over again, and your words have become daily mantras for my life. I look to your words to help me get through some of the darkest days, but I know there are brighter days around the corner. I can honestly say, you have been my true friend since my husband left us 2 months ago. erin laughlin Erin, I'm so sorry to hear you are just now in the most brutal part of it all. But I am so glad to know that my words have given you comfort and friendship! Those words were my mantras, too, and I still find myself saying many of them when the going gets tough. Remember above all to be gentle with yourself in these hardest days, and to keep doing whatever little things you can to take care of you (for me it was sleep, getting enough sleep). I'll be thinking about you as you make your way down this road. And I can definitely report that better things are waiting for you. Big hugs, SLM I came across your book when my husband told me he wanted to move out and see if we could fix our marriage. It took him over a month to leave and less than a week after that to start an affair. I begged to go to couseling, that 15 years and one teenaged daughter deserved that. He refused. Your book has helped me through these last few months. I have discovered a strength I didn't know I had. I joined a "scary" Crossfit gym and feel like a badass every time I leave. I have decided on a career to train for. 14 years of being a mommy and wife have rendered me without a clue to finding a job. Thankfully, he is being supportive of me going to school. Sometimes I hate that he's so damn nice now that he decided to leave. Thank you for an inspiring book. It helps to know that I am not alone and the pain will lessen as I heal in a productive way. Minnie, You're right that Crossfit is totally bad-ass! Good for you! I'm sorry to hear our stories are similar, and it is VERY challenging to come to terms with the "nice" that comes after the breakup. I remember feeling the same way. But over time, it's turned into the greatest gift. I can honestly say to people now that I am so glad I married a good man, even though we got divorced. Which is certainly better than the alternative! I salute you on your path to rediscovery! Remember that in the same way we can't know what bad is coming around the corner, we also don't know what marvelous things are waiting for us. Have a great time as you head toward those happy surprises! Best, SLM Dear Stacy-I never, ever read non-fiction, but for some reason was taken by the piece I saw about your book in the KKG magazine and bought it. Just finished it, and must tell you that I learned alot about looking after yourself, coping with change and self-esteem. My first child is about to go to college, so I can already tell I'm starting to grieve about the fact she'll be leaving home next fall, so your heartfelt words of wisdom are timely. Thank you for sharing and best of luck to you and your son. Sharon (KKG class of 77 from Whitman College, Washington State.) Sharon, How great to know that piece inspired you to take a look at the book. I often say to people that my book is only partly about divorce; it's mostly about the difficult transition of coming to terms with the fragility of life, something we are able to put off for a very long time, if we are lucky. I wish you and your daughter both a rewarding and not-too-sad transition in the coming year. It's a big one. And actually, my next book will be about my magical/complicated relationship with my mother, and those years in college were such an important time for our friendship. May the two of you be lucky enough to have that be true as well. Best, (and loyally!), SLM What a blessing and gift you have given to me by sharing this story about recovery after divorce. What a purpose fulled life to reach out to others by your honesty, and giving hope and support. THANK YOU!!! Victoria, Thank you for your lovely note and appreciation! Means so much to me! SLM There are not enough words to express my gratitude for there being a book that is offering so much during a time that is so emotionally hard. I am currently separated from my husband for almost a year, and I have spent the last year trying to keep hope that we would end up back together, and every day that passes, that only diminishes more and more. Until I read this book, I could not begin to imagine that I am right to feel hope, but not for "us" but for myself. That inside me is a strong person who has made it this far and will survive this. I want to send you a huge Thank you Stacy, for having the courage to share such a personal story and offer many of us out here who feel they have lost it all, a sense of hope that we will be okay. MA Jen, I got chills reading your note. Thank you so much for sharing it. I am so glad to hear that you have found the hope that is always waiting for us to be ready to see it. And I'll never forget that feeling when I really understood that I was going to be fine, and life was going to go on for me: it was almost euphoria, in such a sad time. Good for you! Sending you much love and good wishes, SLM Stacy, your words, your ability to share, and your positive attitude are such a gift. I am inspired by your ability to share & help others through such a difficult time. 6 months ago, my husband of 15 years said that he was "Done". We were the "Storybook" couple. Friends, both families, ourselves all had never seen a couple so in love as us! If anyone would make it, it would be us! But, my husband changed too much over the past few years. We have a 3 year old daughter & he, & therefore our relationship, changed after her birth. I can relate to losing someone when your child is so young (he was emotionally absent before he was physically absent). My mom & I have read your book. My ex sounds like Chris. I'm more the type to get things done and take care of everyone, like you are. So I am so grateful to you; you put large parts of my story into words when I could not and it helped to clear my head. I'm feeling much better now & am finding Donna, I am so glad to hear my book helped you clarify your own story. It's such an important part of the process of healing, to be able to see ourselves from a distance and know that in the end, all is well, even though in the moment, we are hurting so, so much. I wrote the book exactly because I knew there was no way I was the only woman who felt so many different layers of loss, and I wanted to reach women like you and say, "Yes, it's bad now, but you will make it, and you will be stronger for what you've survived." Sending you warm thoughts and hugs, SLM I discovered this book at exactly the right time. My 19-yr marriage had been troubled for years. After almost 2 yrs of counseling, we were at a crossroads. I started reading your book one night and was instantly hooked. At 2 am, after getting through half the book, I crawled into bed and he told me he was "done" and would soon move out. It was devastatingly sad and I was overwhelmed with uncertainty and questions about what happened next. However, having just read about your experience, I knew I would be OK. Thank you for your candid view of a difficult topic that nobody wants to talk about. I find myself rereading certain portions as I navigate through my own story. Ann Ann, thank you so much for sharing your story. "Done" is the worst word. I still get a shiver thinking about it. But I am so glad you found some solace and comfort in my company. That is why I wrote the book. Just remember: be focused on the woman you want to be on the other side; she will bring you safely home. Best of luck—Stacy This book was an amazingly brave journey. I read it in one day. As the person who is leaving the marriage, Stacy's perspective gave me a much better sense of how my partner must feel, and gave me so much empathy. Even still, being the person to leave hurts deeply. I am so saddened by the failure of my marriage and the break up of my family. I can only hope to find the peace and strength- or the light at the end of this dark tunnel as stacy did. I applaud you Stacy for sharing your story. It helped me so much. I could relate to not telling others about our demise, as I am still "hiding" our separation from certain friends and family members. I hope to gain peace and clarity in this journey, and this book helped me tremendously. Thank you!!! Karen, All the words you use are so helpful and show that you are on your way to letting go with grace: strength, peace, clarity. This is what we all should desire at the end of the heartbreak; not to have won, or to have been the one wronged. I am so sorry for how hard it is, but congratulate yourself for letting all the feelings in so you can honor the life you lived with your family, and the life you will live as you go on.—Stacy Stacy! Great site, great book! Why, thank you!—Stacy i love reading especially non fiction books.i have always looked for a book that as you are reading it, it sounds like your story of your life, well your book was and is my life..i am in the process of getting a better life without a man in it..i have always compared my marriage like a tug of war game ..i pull and he pulls back, this has been all my life.They say you marry the opposite in your life and that is soooo true.I pray that i will find that happiness in the last part of my life.i love life...i know there will NEVER be any more men in my life...i want to be happy and live longer..thank you very much for the best book i have ever picked up...nerie Nerie, Thanks so much for your comments, and congratulations to you for envisioning a better future for yourself. It's so hard to let go of dreams, and to open our eyes and see what we are living is not a dream, but if you have done that for yourself, I am sure you are on your way toward becoming the you you were meant to be. Yay!—Stacy Hi. I haven't read your book, but just finished reading the magazine article you wrote about your mom. When I got to the part about receiving your mom's letter several months after her passing, I was a mess. I lost my mom 6 mths ago. Also to that disgusting disease. You write really well, and although I'm not married, so not divorced, I will be buying your book. Because I get the sense you're just one of those writers that I'd love to read. Take care. A new fan. Rhona, Thank you so, so much. That piece I wrote about my mother is probably the favorite piece I've ever written. I'm hoping to turn it into my next book, actually, so thank you for the encouragement. Yes, it's a terrible loss we all go through, losing our parents. But not until we experience can we really get it. I so appreciate your kind words about my writing. All I want to do is tell the truth and help us make our peace with that. Very best to you.—Stacy |
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